The first word shouldn’t be "no"

Change is uncomfortable, at least … and downright threatening to some (I know … big revelation here, huh?).  I’ve encountered folks whose “fight or flight” response kicked in when confronted with some pretty major changes.  The common characteristic of them all is their beginning sentences with the word “no.”

No, that’s not what I meant …

No, I think that you should …

No, that’s a different situation from …

and so on …

When tracking this for myself, I admit that as soon as I hear a sentence start with “no” I’m pretty much going to shut down in some way … maybe not completely, but I will not give full attention to the statement or I’ll immediately jump in my mind to figuring out how to counter. The point, though, is that I mentally drop out of the conversation with the other person.

And I’m guessing that other folks do likewise to one degree or another. Big leap on my part, sure … but – hey – I’m going to leap anyway.

So, I’ve decided that the first word in anything I say to someone will not be “no.”

Then I’ll track how folks tend to respond to me … and report back a bit later.


About Rory

I make my home in the central part of the Garden State along with my family. When I'm not working as an Instructional Designer (focusing mostly on Web-Based learning ... and other eLearning technologies) or researching something, I'm found at home playing computer or video games. Among other things, I volunteer as a choir member and catechist for 8th graders at my parish.
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